


Since I've Been Found

by Wesley



Series: Let Me Drive For a While [2]
Category: Zootopia (2016)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Humor, Past Abuse, Past Sexual Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-08
Updated: 2016-04-08
Packaged: 2018-05-31 23:31:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6492085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wesley/pseuds/Wesley
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nick attempts to understand Judy's outburst. He gets more than he bargained for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Since I've Been Found

**Author's Note:**

> This is the dark side before the light. There is no easy way around the abuse part but I promise there will more fluff/kink eventually! 
> 
> I hope you enjoy!
> 
> For anyone interested in the writing soundtrack:  
> \- Bourbon by Gallant  
> \- Give it All Up by SRNO, Gia Koka

            This was going to be one of the worst days of Judy’s life. Not only had she not slept, she now had to explain her erratic behavior in a way that wouldn’t make Nick suspicious. She’d contemplated calling out sick but ultimately that wouldn’t solve any of her problems; Nick would be over in a heartbeat with chicken soup and an all-too-knowing grin on his face.

            Her eyelids drooped as she drove mindlessly, following the usual route to the station. She slowed to let pedestrians cross the street; she had to think of something to say. It was impossible. She didn’t know how to lie and her brain was running on fumes. Possible scenarios played out in her mind: he wouldn’t talk to her, he’d laugh it off like his normal self, he wouldn’t be there…Sunlight beamed through the beautiful, red leaves of the large trees lining the street. People bustled up and down the sidewalks, some laughing, others engrossed in their phones. _What the fuck am I going to say?_

            She sat in the parking lot for a good fifteen minutes, rehearsing lines and hating herself. This wasn’t going to work. If she tried to lie he would know; she could see his dumb face smirking at her now, “ _Don’t try to bullshit a bullshitter, Carrots.”_ She snorted at that. Her smile quickly disappeared. What if he wasn’t going to let this go? What if he _really_ was upset with her? Surely they could still be friends if she begged hard enough. She wasn’t perfect but would he truly throw out their friendship over one fight? Even if it was awful. _Really_ awful. What about the truth? Her stomach churned. He would never look at her the same, never touch her. At best he might pity her. It would always be poor Judy, broken Judy, _tainted_ Judy.

            “No. No way.” She’d had enough of that in her life already. _Life goes on, you’ve rebuilt before._ A small sob escaped her throat. The thought of losing Nick hurt so much. She wrapped her arms around her chest, settling the pieces back into place. 

 

            The great marble atrium echoed various conversations of people starting their day, laughing, grabbing morning snacks. Beams of yellow light scattered onto the patterned floor.

            “Morning Judy,” Ben managed through a particularly large mouthful of doughnut.

            “Morning Ben.”

            “Wow, Judy you look tired! You know you should really make sure you get eight hours of sleep a night. I had this cousin and once, he didn’t sleep much and, well…I don’t know what was really wrong with him, but he was like, pretty sick from it and—”

            “I’ll keep that in mind.” She forced a smile and kept walking towards the back office she shared with her partner.

            Ben nodded absentmindedly, “Nick’s already in.”

            “What?”

            “Yeah he’s in your office. I thought it was weird, him being so early and all.” He glanced up and stopped speaking abruptly. Judy face was that of one condemned. “Er— everything okay?” Ben slowly lowered his half-eaten donut at Judy’s apparent panic. She swallowed hard. Maybe she could sit in her car a bit longer; after all, she was early. _He_ was early.

            “Yeah…Yeah of course.” She dragged her feet like a zombie towards the back hallway, each step heavier than the last. _There is no way around this Judy so just man up!_

 

            The two-desk office they shared was cramped to say the least; they often joked about it in passing even though the privacy was actually quite nice…except today. She stopped right outside the door, her heart beating a thousand miles a minute, the blood rushing in her ears. The placard on the door read “Hopps & Wilde.” _Just a few deep breathes, he’ll understand, he’s your friend, he’ll understand_. Vacantly she placed a hand on the doorknob and stepped inside; a handsome red fox sat patiently at his desk.

 

 

* * *

 

           

            They were going to talk. Today. Not at work, not where Judy so prided herself on presentation and seriousness. Nick would never embarrass her like that. He wasn’t going to force anything out of her, he wasn’t going to push about things that were not his business, but he would get answers for her sudden outburst. He at least deserved that. Sure, he wasn’t the easiest person to deal with, he could admit that; he would right his wrongs, at least where Judy was concerned, but what wrong he’d committed had yet to be seen. Judy was the one good constant in his life and she was going to accept his help whether she wanted it or not. She could, probably would, hate him in the end but he would get to the bottom of this. Her pain was his. Maybe he was wrong about her feelings about him, he could own up to that, he could put that away. He just needed to be _sure._

            She looked like hell; clearly, she hadn’t slept at all. His heart felt that familiar ache; he stuffed it down and forced a large grin.

            “Good morning miss Hopps.” His hands were folded neatly on his desk.

            “Hey Nick,” she croaked. She couldn’t tear her eyes away from his. He continued to smile; he wasn’t going to give in easily. After a moment she stepped over to her desk, feeling his gaze burning into the back of her skull. “You’re, uh…early.”

            “Yeah, well, the sooner we question these guys the sooner we crack the case, right?” He was waiting for it, the apology, the excuse, any moment now. She nodded without meeting his gaze. The whiteboard in the far left corner was covered in photos connected with red string and scribbled notes. She stepped up to the board, pretending to scrutinize them.

            There were very few furnishings in their office, two small desks with cheap lamps and second hand chairs. Judy’s desk had a picture of her parents next to her phone, several brothers and sisters crammed into the background. Nick had no personal belongings in the office.

            “Still want to start at the Bakery?” Nick questioned without actually giving a shit where they went today. Judy nodded slightly.

            “Yeah…I think so.” She closed her eyes, took a deep breath; her paws curled into fists. She turned to address him, “Nick, I…what happened last night was totally inappropriate and you didn’t deserv—”

            “Ah, ah,” he shook his head and put both hands up to stop her. “We _will_ talk Judy.” Her eyes locked with his in sheer panic. He could see the fear and anguish threatening to explode out of her tiny body. He smiled. “But not here. We have work to do. Serve and protect, right Carrots?” He said, pulling his shades on and leaning back in his chair. She smiled nervously.

             “You, you’re not mad at me?” Her shoulders curved inward, her demeanor that of a beaten puppy.

            “Not in the least. But we do need to talk.” Her face was full of dread. “All in good time, I’m not going anywhere.” He flashed a toothy grin. She gulped.

 

 

* * *

 

 

            Riding in the car with Nick had never been more uncomfortable. He hummed to himself, tapping vaguely on the steering wheel.

            “Where to first boss lady?” She forced a half glance at him out of the corner of her eye; he was smiling at her in his usual confident way. She cleared her throat.

            “Uh…the bakery, on fifth. That’s where Mayweather was seen last.” She said pulling nervously on of her ears.

            _Hmm, that was new._ “Great, I could use some breakfast.” He changed lanes abruptly and turned up the radio. Rows of small businesses lined the street; it was still fairly early, shop owners prepared for the day, sweeping, wiping down tables, unlocking their front doors. It was hard sometimes not to envy their simple routines.

  

            Nick entered first, holding the door open like a perfect gentlemen. Judy puffed up her chest and strode over to the large pig behind the counter. He was unloading gigantic rolls off a tray.

            “Good morning Sir,” Judy said politely with a smile, rocking slightly back on her heels. The owner continued to unload his rolls onto the shelf. “Ehem.” Judy coughed loudly. After no response she addressed him again, “Excuse me sir,” this time crossing her arms. Nick stifled a laugh behind her back. One customer ate a jumbo-sized muffin behind a newspaper at a dingy diner table, paint peeling around the edges. “Excuse me, SIR.”

            The owner peered over the table, seeing nothing more than the tops of two grey ears. He glanced at Nick who returned a cool smile, his tail swaying slowly back and forth behind him. The pig grunted and continued unloading the trays. A small, grey paw slammed a picture down on the table.

            “Have you seen this man?” Her voice was rising uncontrollably in an irritated pitch. No response from the owner. “Because I have it…on good...on good authority, that you have. Did in fact, see him. This man.” Her grey finger pointed sharply at the man’s face in the picture. This was painful. Nick pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head.           

            “Never seen him before.” The baker turned back to keep unloading his trays. Judy spun backwards to Nick, her face beet red with anger. This was her “seriously pissed mode” that got them nowhere. She gave him a “can you believe this?!” look and continued.

            “Oh really?!,” Her voice was a whole octave higher than normal, “Because ‘Big Sam’ says that you have. And you didn’t even _look_ at the picture SIR.” Her foot tapped impatiently. The man behind the newspaper looked up in mild curiosity.

            “I said I ain’t seen em’.”

            Judy guffawed loudly. “Really? Well I have _multiple_ cameras on the street that show him frequenting this establishment once a week for the past three weeks, until he went _missing_.” She tried to emphasize the last word, like he might come to his senses, drop down on his knees and beg for forgiveness. This didn’t seem to faze the owner at all. He turned his back to her completely. She turned to Nick, disbelief plastered on her face. He stepped next to her and gently placed her out of the way.

            “Hey! Wha—”

            “Alright chuckles,” Nick mumbled to Judy, turning to the owner before she could get a retort in, “those rolls look mighty stale.” The owner grunted. “It’s funny, see, I don’t see any staff in the kitchen helping you bake _sir_ ,” Judy threw her hands in the air, “but I thought I saw someone coming up out of that basement you got back there.” The pig’s ears perked up. “Yeah, see the one behind all those loaves of old bread you got back there? Not like you’re trying to hide it, poor placement I’m sure, but uh, I think maybe we’d better check down there just in case.”

            The pig turned on a dime, an inch from Nick’s face. “YOU GOT A WARRANT?!”

            Nick smiled, not flinching an inch. “No, no I don’t, but I don’t need one, what with probably cause and all. You see,” Nick rested his head on his hand, cocking his head to the side, “I’m pretty sure I saw someone come out of that basement last week after you were closed.” Judy frowned, when was he here last week?

            “That don’t prove nothin’.” The pig looked nervous. 

            “No, no it doesn’t. But he was accommodated by a particularly nasty fellow wanted for a slew of misdemeanors, a Mr. Fink I believe? And I don’t think he was checking your supply of flour, if you get what I’m saying.”

            Judy’s mouth hung open as she watched Nick intimidate a five hundred pound seriously pissed off pig just inches from his face. Nick leaned back and grinned. “Look, we don’t want to have to come back here, _you_ don’t want us to have to come back here. I mean you’re just trying to run a nice bakery, not a front for anything illegal, so let’s just talk about Sam and we can be on our way, okay?”

            The pig’s beady eyes bulged in fury. “Okay?” Nick cooed. 

 

            Judy followed Nick out of the shop, the little bell on the door chiming lightly as it slammed shut.

             “Wow. Just, wow.”

            “Stick with me Carrots.” He winked down at each her. _Till the end._

 

 

* * *

 

 

            They were back in the office, Nick’s feet up on the table, Judy arranging files and talking with admiration in her voice. “I can’t believe you got him to talk! I mean, I was pretty close, but that was great work Nick! Although, pretty dangerous.” He snorted. “How did you know that Fink left the bakery last week?”

            “I cased the joint.” He shrugged.

            “You what?” She’d stopped filing now. 

            “You said something suspicious was going on so I staked out the place last week.” He swiveled his chair back and forth lazily.

            “You didn’t have to do that.” She said softly.

            “Oh I know,” he chuckled. She rolled her eyes. A quick glance at the clock and she realized that it was only ten minutes till their shift was over. Somehow she didn’t think she was the only one that realized this.

 

            It was cute seeing her like this, frantically trying to act busy, too busy to notice the time. She moved stacks of pictures around, rearranged the stapler and tape on her desk several times, and examined the white board with forced determination.

            “Hey, would you look at that, it’s quitting time,” Nick said, putting his feet on the ground and looking over at Judy who was trying to discretely slip an arm into her jacket.

            “Oh yeah, yeah, it’s about that time.” She laughed, pulling softly on one of her ears before it sprung back into place.

            “So where are we going?”

            “Um, home, I think, although I could use a few things from the gro—” 

            “Now, we can talk about this out in public, I’m sure you’d feel more comfortable that way.”

            “Nick, that’s not tru—” She said with sadness in her voice.

            “Hey, I’m not offended Carrots, it’s all good. We can talk about this in public, okay? Where do you want to go?”

            She sighed. “I actually rather wouldn’t…” Nick felt a tinge of sickness churning in his stomach. Judy saw his face drop. “I mean I don’t want to talk in public. I’ll…I’ll meet you at your place?...If that’s okay?” She added as an afterthought. _Yes, sweet little Carrots, that’s MORE than okay._ He nodded curtly and stepped towards the door.

            “See you soon, partner.” He mock tipped an invisible hat in her direction and left with a quiet close of the door.

            Judy stared at the door for a good two minutes after he left. _Well…fuck._

* * *

 

            Here she was again, in his apartment, exactly where she said she told herself she wouldn’t be. The street lamps outside the extremely large living room window were glowing a dull yellow. 

            “Beer?” He called out heading into the kitchen. This could either greatly help her or be her ultimate downfall.

            “Yeah. Please.” She walked over to the couch, slumping down and stretching her legs out on the table for once. _This is going to happen, just get comfortable Judy._

            Nick sauntered over in his usual way, handing her a beer with a smile before unfolding on the couch next to her. He let out an exaggerated sigh. Judy giggled. That was good he thought, she’s unwinding.

            “So,” his head lolled towards her, “last night, Carrots.” She frowned back at him with a mixture of trepidation and embarrassment. He held his beer hand up gently, “Hey now, don’t get all guarded. I’m not mad. I promise.” He took a swig. She watched him like a hawk. He smiled gently back at her, “Talk to me.”

            She shook her head and sighed. “I don’t even know where to start.” The setting was exactly the same as the past hundred nights, and yet it was completely different.

            “Well, you shouted at me for being a man.” He laughed. “Surely we’re not _all_ that bad.” Going at this lighthearted was the only way he was going to get her to open up about whatever asshole she encountered in the past. 

            She laughed a full laugh now, glancing over at him “No, not _all_ of you.” They chuckled for a few moments. She rolled the beer back and forth in her hands.

            “Help me out here Carrots?” The stared at each other, fully engrossed. Her eyes glazed over a bit. Everything in her body was telling her to run. “That bad huh?” _Tread carefully Nick._

            “You first.” She said. He raised his eyebrows in surprise. “You never tell me anything personal. _Especially_ when it comes to relationships. You tell me something first,” she said taking a long swig from the beer, feeling her brain start to numb slightly.

            He let out a long sigh that was half laugh, half disbelief. “There’s really not much to tell.” 

            “Oh please, Nick Wilde, ultimate charmer. I’m sure you’ve broken more than a few hearts in your day.” He rolled his eyes in mock annoyance.

            “Oh yeah, that's me.” There was a sadness there that she couldn’t quite place.

            “No special ladies?” She moved a bit closer, propping her head up on her hand.

            “Hah.” He drank, she mirrored him. Her heart was beating so fast against her rib cage it was painful. “I dated a bit in high school,” he shrugged, “nothing really serious. Just for fun. We moved a lot, most of the girls were the same though.”

            “Oh come on!” She shouted with annoyance.

            “What?! He laughed.

            “Most of the girls were the _same_!”

            “They were!”

            “Yeah okay,” she scoffed.

            “They weren’t serious about me and I wasn’t serious about them.” He trailed off, his thumb rubbing the label of the bottle gently. “Don’t you think you’re being a bit hypocritical?”

            She ignored his comment. “Never _anyone_ serious?”

            He grinned. “It’s your turn now, Carrots.” He downed the last of his beer and stood up quickly, making his way back to the kitchen, returning with another bottle. He was planning on numbing as much of her painful rejection as possible. He sat down gently this time and slowly locked eyes with her, waiting patiently until she spoke. The apartment was almost silent, the only sound their breathing. 

            “Well, no.” She shrugged, blushing.

            “What? I’m sure you had to beat em’ off with a stick.” He pictured a slightly younger Judy in a cute, floral dress walking through the halls of her small high school, rosy cheeks and long eyelashes… 

            “No,” she said curtly. “I was really busy with school and helping mom and dad on the farm.” She glared at him, “don’t you say a word!”

            “I wasn’t going to!” He laughed. I think it’s great that you had a good home life.”

            “What about you? Your mom and dad? Any brothers or sisters?” She knew she was treading on thin ice but she needed to know all of the pieces of the man that she…

            “Hey, we’re talking about you right now.” 

            “Well that’s not very fair.” She took a long gulp from the bottle, embracing the haze starting to run through her body. “How about a question for a question?”

            He considered the proposal. _If we’re going to go there let’s go._

            “I guess I can’t argue with that. My mom,” he breathed, “is an amazing woman. I don’t know how she did it, raising me all by herself.” His eyes shone with admiration. “She did the best she could after my dad left. I can’t believe all the shit I put her through.” Judy felt a strong urge to reach out and touch Nick. “I was young,” he shrugged. He was quiet for a moment before launching into his next question.

            “So you’ve _never_ dated anyone _ever_?” 

            “No, not really.” He gawked with complete disbelief. She finished off her beer, setting it down on the table. His eyes flicked back and forth from the bottle to her face. “Hey, could I uh, get another one of these?” She pointed at the bottle. Nick’s eyebrows rose.

            “You sure?”

            “Mhmm.” She nodded. Nick set his bottle down with a look of slight concern and went to the kitchen. Once he was out of sight she ran a trembling hand across her face. _What the hell am I doing?_ The streets outside were vacant. What time was it? Did it matter? Isn’t this what normal people did on Friday nights? She glanced around; the warm lights in the living room cast long shadows on the hardwood floor.

            Nick returned with a new bottle, setting it down gently, scrutinizing Judy; he’d never seen her have more than one drink. She was starting to feel pretty good, her brain slightly foggy but less anxious. “Thanks,” she smiled up at him with heavy lids. _Goddamn, she was beautiful_. He had to focus, they still hadn’t addressed yesterday. He settled back down onto the cushions. 

            “So, _you_ never had anyone serious?” She smiled at him coyly. He did his best to return the smile.

            “I did. Once.” He drank deeply before continuing. “Yeah…she, Hannah...I guess she’s really…well, really the only one.” He stared at the table. Judy couldn’t tear her eyes away from his face. “We, uh, lived together. For a while anyways.” He laughed, but there was obvious bitterness there. Judy’s breathe caught in her throat. Was it jealously brewing in the pit of her stomach?

 

            Everything about this situation was teetering on disaster. There are so many pieces to a person, how could you possibly go through life without losing one or two? Without having a few taken away…

            “I’m sorry.” She whispered. His head snapped up quickly hearing the pain in her voice. She was staring intently at him, tears in her eyes.

            “Carrots,” he laughed, “it was a long time ago. Things happen. People change.” He shrugged. “No big deal.” He put on a smile. She nodded meekly. He immediately reminded himself that he had to relax, force a sense of calm; this wasn’t about him. “So, tell me Carrots,” he said with a laugh, leaning back on the couch, “if you’ve never dated anyone, how is it that you have such disdain for all us _men_.”

            Her expression stopped him cold. For a moment she wasn’t Judy at all. It was like seeing an apparition, a person frozen in time. Her face was horribly blank as she looked past him into space. After a second she recovered and downed the rest of her drink.

            “I don’t know, I’ve just seen things.” She set the empty bottle down on the table and forced herself to meet his gaze. _Keep it together you freak._

Nick could see her shaking. She was unraveling on his couch. “Sure.” He said, gauging her reaction, arms ready to catch her at a moment’s notice.

            Her brain felt fuzzy, she grinned at Nick. How far had this thing gone? Too far to go back to forced pleasantries and platonic pats on the shoulder.

            “Why do you want to know so much about me?” She asked, gazing into his deep, green eyes. Dusty headlights flashed in her mind, she quickly blinked them away. 

 

            She was most definitely buzzed, and to be honest he wasn’t entirely sure that she was completely present. This was the moment that Nick had to decide whether or not to hate himself for the rest of his life. 

            “Hey Carrots, you look tired, let’s get you home.” He started to rise from the couch until a soft paw grabbed his arm and pulled him back down.

            “Please don’t go.” She looked completely horrified.

            “No, no I’m not going anywhere.” Her grip remained firm on his arm. Her eyes brimmed with tears.

            “Hey, _hey_ , Carrots I’m not going anywhere!” He laughed rubbing her arm. She was warm, and soft, and drunk and _should_ be going home. _Fuck._

            She wiped the tears from her eyes. “Sorry,” she waved a hand, “beer tears.” Somehow Nick knew that wasn’t the case at all. He smiled at her so tenderly her heart felt it would explode. “Last night…you said…you said, I didn’t want to ruin it.” 

            He gulped. “Yes. I did.” _Goddamnit, Nick take her home._

            “Why? Why did you say that?”

            “Hey Carrots,” he said softly, “why don’t we get you ho—”

            “No.” She protested with a frown. “Tell me.” She was so fucking cute, brows furrowed, cheeks red, determination in her eyes, her body so close to his.

            “Judy, I don’t think we should have this conversation when you’ve had—”

            “I’ll tell you when I’ve had too much.” Her eyes bore into his. “Tell me,” she whispered.

            “Because…Because I want you.” The words tumbled out. They were gone and there was no way to take them back. She looked down at her lap in what looked like disappointment. _Great Nick, you did it, congratulations._ “I’m, I’m sorry if that’s too forward. I just thought you should know.” She continued looking downwards. “Judy?” This was the part where she would tell him she was sorry, he was great, so great, but she just couldn’t do this right now. 

            “Want me,” she repeated. She glanced up, desolation in her eyes, “because I’m cute? Cute little bunny?” She leaned slightly to one side.

            He closed his eyes. “No Judy, not like that.”

            “Like what then?” She snapped. 

            “Judy—“

            “Like _what_?!” He couldn’t help but laugh, bemused.

            “Because I care about you.” He was trying to control his temper, but his voice shook slightly.

            She laughed, shaking her head. “You care about me?” There was a horrible silence between them. “Till you lay me? Then what?” She let go of him. “That’ll make work a bit weird.” She couldn’t believe the words coming out of her mouth. She had to hurt Nick, make him hate her, make him leave. 

            His nose twisted in disgust, “Jesus Judy.” He moved off the couch, out of her reach.

            “No, it’s okay you can say it.” She followed him. “I’ll be a good lay right?” Her voice started to shake. “Another one for the books. Fun, even. You got yourself a country bunny this time!”

            “Judy, enough!” He backed away from her, his heart racing.

            “It’s okay I get it.” 

            “You don’t get _anything_ Judy.” She snorted, turning away from him to leave.

            “No, you don’t get to walk away from this one.” He shouted, grabbing both of her shoulders. “What do you want from me?!” His voice cracked. 

            She laughed, swaying in his arms. “If you don’t know now you never will.” His eyes widened, his brain scrambling to make sense of her words. 

            “Do you want me Judy?” She looked away lazily. He gave her a slight shake. “ _Answer_ me.”

            “Yes.” Her voice was weighted with an old sadness. She laughed, her head rolling back onto her shoulders. “I actually thought you might have some semblance of feelings for me.” She was laughing uncontrollably now. 

            “Carrots will you shut up for just one minute.” She was scaring the fuck out of him.

            “Find some other rabbit to lay.” She ripped herself out of his grasp and stumbled a few steps towards the door. 

            “I need you Judy.” She stopped where she stood. Blood rushed in his ears, every part of his body tingling and alert. He’d never uttered those words before, not _ever_. She turned slightly back towards him.

            “You’re just saying that,” she mumbled. He was in front of her in a second.

            “Jesus Judy, what do I have to say?! What do I have to do?” He threw a hand out in desperation. Her lip trembled. 

            “There’s nothing you can do.” 

            “Judy,” he placed a hand on her soft face, “I care for you. So fucking much. Please, please believe me. _Please_.” She met his eyes. 

            “You could never want me,” she sobbed. In that moment Nick had no other choice. He pressed his mouth softly onto hers, closing the distance between their bodies. Her frail figure fit so wonderfully against his. She was so soft. He wanted her so bad; it was taking every ounce of strength not to push her farther. She grasped weakly at his shirt. He controlled himself, pulling back to assess her face. Her eyelids were heavy. Nick smiled weakly. “You and me, right Carrots?”

            “You and me.” She echoed. 

            “That’s right,” He breathed, petting her cheek.

            She turned her face away, “I…” Nick couldn’t understand her garbled reply.

            “What? Judy I can’t—”

            “I need you Nick.” Her shoulders shook with grief. His eyes widened. _This had to be the alcohol talking_. “I need you and I can’t even…want to show you.” She mumbled incomprehensibly for a short moment before throwing her arms around his neck, crushing her lips onto his; he wrapped his arms around her instinctually, feeling himself growing hard against her contact. _This is all I get, just one more minute, please god._ Nick knew she wouldn’t be telling him any of this if she hadn’t drank, but he couldn’t deny himself this one sin. He’d wanted to taste her lips for so long. Fuck it. 

            She pressed her full weight into him, his tail curled around her instinctually as she opened her mouth slightly, allowing his tongue inside. His head spun, was this really happening? He held her waist close with one arm, the other ran hand ran up her left arm to an ear, running up and down the length from base to tip. She shivered; he smiled. She liked that. He’d have to remember. His hand slowly rested on the back of her neck, pulling her closer.

 

            The next moments happened so fast he had no time to process anything. She’d torn himself from his body, thrashing backwards, knocking the bottles off the table, falling hard on the floor. Her pupils were fully blown, limbs thrashing wildly. It took him a moment to realize the high pitch screams were coming from his little Judy.

            “Judy!” He instinctually reached down to hold her, reaching for her wrists as she punched erratically, hitting herself in the process. He stood overtop of her trying to get her to look at him. “Judy!” He struggled to hold her still.

            “No! Stay back!” She sobbed, her eyes miles away. “You can’t make me!” She kicked him hard in the chest. He stumbled back into the table. She scrambled wildly on the floor towards the door moving faster than he’d ever seen. Nick regained his balance and was on her in a second, pinning her against the wall before she could make it out of the door. She was having some kind of episode; if her let her leave this apartment there was no telling where she would go, how she would hurt herself. 

            “No! No!” She screamed. He’d held her wrists against the wall.

            “Carrots, Carrots.” He had no idea if she could hear him. “It’s okay, it’s me, it’s Nick, Judy.” He could feel her heart beating rapidly, her breath shallow and quick. They stayed still, locked together for what seemed like an eternity. Nick’s head was spinning. He felt her body slowly slump, his arms quickly caught her and gently lowered her against his body. He cradled her like a child. In this moment that’s exactly what she was.

            “Judy, can you hear me? Judy.” Her eyes were blank, staring off somewhere far away before they slowly closed completely. He was not prepared for this. Should he call someone? _Risk alienating her for the rest of your life, or do the responsible thing._ There was no argument. _She’s mine._ He grasped underneath her legs and around her shoulders, slowly standing. He walked towards his bedroom, holding Judy close. He’d pictured it a thousand times but never like this. A small hand fisted in his shirt; her eyes were still closed, her breathing had slowed.

            The room was dark but he knew his way around the furnishings. He slowly lowered her down onto the bed, pulling the sheets over her small frame. This, this was so… _fucked_. Whatever happened it seemed to have passed. Her breathing was steady; she was asleep or unconscious, he wasn’t really sure which it was. Every inch of him ached. He dared to reach a hand down and brush it gently across her head before slowly backing out, leaving the door open a small crack. He couldn’t even think anymore. Whatever had just happened he just wanted it to end, just be over now, just for a little while. Judy in that much pain was beyond comprehension. He mindlessly walked to the couch, turning off the lamp on his way, and slumped down on the couch. Pulling a pillow underneath his head he closed his eyes and was asleep in an instant.

 

 

* * *

 

 

            A beam of yellow light hit her in the eyes. She rolled over absentmindedly with a sigh, stretching her limbs. Her mouth was dry. She slowly opened her eyes. It took a her moment to realize something wasn't quite right. A wave of fear coursed through her body. This was _not_ her bed. She jolted upwards, her eyes searching the room for clues. Ripping off the sheets she ran to the slightly cracked door, swinging it open with abandon. This was _Nick’s_ apartment. She was still here. Had she really had that much to drink? Her heart started thumping wildly again. Her partner looked up, still lying horizontal on the couch.

            “Morning Carrots.”


End file.
